The Torture Chamber

     Things between Josh and I just got worse and worse.  I was cleaning the house one day and I picked up a paper.  I opened it and written on it was a recipe for manufacturing Meth.   I was so mad I ripped it up and flushed it down the toilet.  I knew if Josh ever found out I would get in a world of hurt.  While I was working Josh was using and not sleeping at all for days at a time.  He began getting paranoid.  If he heard anything even if it was a creaking sound from the house he would flip out.   Josh would tell me I had someone outside to come after him and he would kill them and me.  Although the reality was there was no one out there.  He shot holes in the wall when he got like that too.  He flipped out one night and grabbed a knife and threatened to cut me again.  He only ended up cutting my cheek just enough to bleed and scar.  Eventually Josh made me quit my job at the nursing home because he was really losing it.  He and his brother kept stealing copper and taking it to the scrap yard to pay bills and get by.  

     Josh became so paranoid he installed cameras on the outside and inside of.our house so he could watch me when he wasn't home and so that he could watch outside when he was tripping.  It was all set up so he could watch me on his phone.  He took the master bathroom and turned it into a tool/work shop.  This room would eventually become what was called the torture chamber.  When Josh got mad about anything he would drag me in that room.  He had three different locks on the door.  Once Josh got me in that room I couldn't get out without him undoing the locks. One day he came home and I didn't have the laundry done so he made me get the laundry and carry it to the laundry room and gave me 3 seconds to have it in the washer and it be started.  I wasn't fast enough so he kept hitting me with a baseball bat in my back and head.  I would fall down and he would scream and hit me more until I was done with the laundry.  The he drug me back to the room he had created and he choked me til I passed out.  When I came to he just laughed and said You idiot you look like a fish out of water.  Then he told me I had been passed out for hours and my kids had been alone the whole time and I better clean up and go check on them.  I tried to clean up as best as I could but I was so sore I could hardly move and wasn't going fast enough so he would hit me some more which made my head bleed more.  Eventually he let me out of the bathroom and I got to check on my girls.  By the Grace of God every time he did that the girls were okay.  

     Over the next few months he pulled me in that bathroom and shot me in the legs with a Pellet gun.   The lead pellets stayed in my legs for months.  He also took a hammer and hit me in my left knee with the claw side and did some bad damage. I had gotten bit by a brown recluse on my right leg and It was so sore but Josh loved to hit me there and it would just ooze with puss and blood.  One night I was folding laundry in the living room.  My oldest daughter woke up and came in and sat with me.  She was supposed to be in bed but I enjoyed those little moments.   Josh came in and thought I was telling her bad stuff so he told me to get in our room.  I was sore and tried to get up but had difficulty.  So he grabbed me by my hair and dragged me into the hallway and grabbed the broom and began hitting me with the handle.  My daughter was terrified.   He yelled at her and told her to go back to bed.  He dragged me in the room and began hitting me with a     2 X 4.  All I could do was holler in agony and that would just infuriate Josh.  He grabbed a flashlight and hit me in the mouth and broke off 2 of my front teeth.    How was i supposed to explain to my oldest daughter why I had teeth going in to the bedroom but not when i came out.

     Josh had been letting our oldest spend a lot of time at his brothers playing with his son.  She loved getting to go over there and play.  It also kept her from seeing so much.  Josh just intensified from crazy to insane.    He would make me sit up all night awake with him while he was getting high and staying high on meth.  He would sit up and burn parts off circuit boards.  He would make me help.   He kept on accusing me of calling people and having people come after him.  He kept me up for like 2 days straight.  I was completely exhausted.  He let me lay down in the bed but told me if I fell asleep he would shoot me. Well when you are exhausted you can only stay awake so long so of course I passed out hard.   Well when I woke up it was terrifying.  Josh's psycho side really started to show.  It was like something in a horror movie or haunted house.

     To learn more come back tomorrow.  It's just getting to the worst part.  If you've been reading my blog thank you.  Please share and leave comments.  God Bless and more to come.