Recovering

      So I was in the hospital for 21 days after I escaped from Josh.  CPS stepped in and took my girls and placed them in foster care while things were being investigated.  While I was in the hospital a woman named Carla came to see me.  She was from the East Texas Crisis Center and wanted me to come stay in a women's shelter when I discharged from the hospital.  She came to see me almost everyday.   She was  always asking if I needed anything.   I asked her for makeup and nail polish and girly items.  See for years Josh did not allow me to paint my nails, fix my hair, wear makeup, or do anything that made me feel pretty.  My sister Heidi came in and painted my nails for me and helped me do my makeup.  I had to have a surgery to have drains put in my legs to drain the fluid off and I asked my doctor if he would shave my legs for me.  Josh didn't allow me to do that either.  When I came back from surgery he had shaved the front half of my legs for me. God Bless him it meant the world to me.   There are some amazing doctors in this world.  Well my mom bought some clothes and brought them to me.  I was a 28 year old woman wearing a little girls size 16.  I had dropped to 88 pounds in the last few months I was with Josh and locked in that room.  I was in bad shape and actually had to learn to walk again but i focused all my energy on getting back healthy for my baby girls and I.  

     One day the foster mom who had my girls was gonna let them call me and I was freaked out because I didn't know what to say to them.   I had several amazing nurses although I cant remember all their names.  However I do remember Beckie White.  She was an amazing nurse who touched my heart forever.   She sat down with me and coached me on how to talk to my girls and what to say to answer their questions. It meant so much to me that she would take time out of her busy day to do that for me.  Beckie and I talked everyday and she learned that I loved PayDay candy bars.  So one day I went in for yet another surgery and I came back to my room and laying on my bedside table was a Payday that Beckie had bought for me.  Bless her for thinking of me and the small acts of kindness she did for me are forever in my heart.  I nominated Beckie for the Daisy Award.  It's an award they give to an amazing nurse that goes above and beyond.   Well my nominee was chosen as the winner.  It wasn"t much but it was something special that I could do for Beckie to show her how much she had impacted me.  Someone from my family stayed at the hospital with me every night. On April 13, 2012 I was going to be discharged. I had decided to go to the women's shelter.   My sister Cara had stayed the night with me and she helped me prepare to discharge.  They had a police officer come pick me up to take me to the shelter.  When he came I had to say goodbye to my sister and leave with him.   I burst into tears because I felt like I was losing my sister again.   After a few minutes of riding we arrived at the shelter.  Everyone was nice and they were so good to me.  My home health nurse came the next day to change my bandages and she could tell I was depressed.  Later that day I called my mom and I was in tears and told her I couldn't do this I needed to leave and begged her to come get me.  My family told her to leave me there because it was what was best for me.  However she couldn't handle me crying and she came and got me.  I just felt like I was a prisoner again.  Although people were nice there were rules and regulations and I was confined to my room and the building.  I had just gotten  family back and I felt like I was losing them all over again.  

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